The Art Of Begging 101

Begging 101: Extracting Food From Your Owner

By: Professor Odie 

Endowed Professor Odie 

   

Introduction

Hello, welcome to Begging Class. This is a world wide known art used to coax food from its original consumer to your chops. This amazing act is usually a dogs profession which is my case but in some scenarios a cat will perform this feat.

Step By Step Method

The first step is simple. You must sit beside the chair that holds the consumer of food. Then you make your eyes big and sad, act as if you haven't eaten in a month. Cock your head to one side, then the other, this step is optional but it does make the process faster. If all of the above seem to fail, lightly put your head on the consumers lap, this gets their attention and also appears to be very cute to them. When the unsuspecting consumer turns around to face you, perk your ears up while eyeing the food. By this time your hungry human will realize what you want. If they reject this entreaty you will move on to Plan B. For 'Plan B' you will wag your tail and make a small whining sound and/or make a gesture that indicates you are hungry but never lead the human or consumer to your dog bowl. This will just lead you back to square one. The objective is to trigger happiness in the owner so they reward you with a scrap from their 5 star meal. To trigger happiness you must be happy yourself.

Etiquette

DO NOT                                                               

-Lead the human to your food bowl
-Scratch or bite the human
-Make loud obnoxious noises
- Break wind
-Drool
-Eliminate waste at the foot of the table
-Growl or bark
-Pant

DO'S

-Wag your tail (lightly)
-Roll over (make sure to show your belly)
-Whine softly
-Nudge the humans hand
-Use puppy eyes
-Perk up your ears when food is visible
-Do tricks for free

Technique

As a Professor in my degree (also a Valadogtorian) I have some very useful techniques that are helpful to most students. I have even invented a famous move the 'Turn Around Touch The Ground' is a trick that most of the time rewards you with a treat. You simply put one paw on your owner, the other held up gracefully, then toss your head while turning around and then touch the ground. Then look back at your owner with your ears up this indicates you want something. Another way to get fine food is to do a half roll on the floor and show your belly  to the owners, this is a sign of submission and it also shows you want attention.


Testing

Begging 101 Testing relies on evidence. We require you take a video and bring it to next class along with the prize to  share with your Professor. Your grade will be based on whether you accomplished your task, the size of the piece, and the type of food.

The Professor At Her Work
Photo by: Chandra Brown